Parenting 101: Teaching Kids the Spirit of Giving – Holiday Lessons on the Importance of Charity
I love the holidays: the lights, the parties, the music, the food, and the music…the list goes on. The thing I love most, though, is the spirit of giving. There are so many opportunities to give back and help one another.
This season is also an ideal time to instill this spirit of giving in children not just during the holidays, but also all year long.
Ways to Start Instilling the Giving Spirit in your Children
#1: Acknowledge what your child already does – Introduce the idea of giving to others by first acknowledging what they are already doing. A smile to someone on the street, a friendly word to a friend and a heartfelt letter grandma are acts of giving. Illustrate how the last time your child cleaned out the toy box or closet was a way to give to those in need. Spotlighting the things your child already does invites him or her to look at giving in a new light. In fact, your child will likely be so happy to discover how he or she already makes a difference; the motivation to give more often will quickly surface.
#2: Give your child a choice – Your child will be more likely to adopt a giving spirit, when he is able to choose the cause. Finding what holds your child’s interest allows him to become more vested in the project. Ask your child if there is someone or something he would like to support. Once he has given you a few options, brainstorm together for ways you can give back. For example, I asked my daughter if she could do one thing to give back to others, what would it be. Her response: “To help the wild horses stay wild.” Together, we researched ways we could help. She was so excited about helping that she raised enough money to sponsor her own horse. That enthusiasm came from giving her a choice and, in turn, allowing her to own that choice.
#3: Make giving a family affair – Including the spirit of giving as part of your family definition or mission is key to letting your child know that you are all committed to helping others. When making a decision about supporting a cause, include your child. Allow her to see the thought process behind choosing (or not choosing) certain organizations or causes. Additionally, volunteering as a family is a great way to spend time together while also modeling the importance of giving back.
#4: Incorporate giving into activities your child already participates in – When it comes to incorporating acts of giving into everyday activities, the options are unlimited. During a playdate, ask the kids to make holiday decorations for the animal crates at the local Humane Society. Arrange for your playgroup, church group or whatever group sings carols at a convalescent home. Hosting a party? Request that guests bring a canned food item or a toy to donate and put your child in charge of the collections. Whatever you do, weave it into the fun of what you are already doing.
#5: Give and receive – Often, children will go through the motions of helping others (i.e. volunteering, donating) without fully understanding why they are doing it. Take the time to spotlight how the giving process was received. Share the stories of families who benefited from your canned food drive. Show photos of the smiles from the elderly at the senior center when your group went caroling. Request that agency thank you cards be sent to your child rather than you. Find specific examples to show them how their actions have positively impacted others.
We all benefit when children are learn to give to others. Charitable involvement has been shown to help raise self-esteem, develop social skills, foster an introduction to the greater world and encourage kids to appreciate their own lifestyle. From donating presents and collecting food to making cards and sponsoring wild horses, every contribution makes a difference – to your child, your community and the world.
Parenting 101: You Are Your Child’s First & Most Important Teacher
Do you remember your first teacher? Was it Miss Sally or Miss Nancy from preschool? Perhaps it was Mr. Jones from kindergarten? Who was your child’s first teacher? Miss Suzie? Nope. What about Ms. Smith? Wrong again. I know who your child’s first teacher was. It was you.
Yes, you.
You are your child’s first teacher. It doesn’t matter if your child is traditional-schooled, homeschooled or unschooled; you are your child’s first – and longest – teacher. From the moment your child was born, you were there to nurture and support their growth.
As they continue to grow and enter preschool, elementary school and even middle or high school, you don’t stop teaching them. Grade level doesn’t determine your role as teacher. YOU determine that role by cultivating a healthy relationship with your children that is built on consistent love, support and commitment to their growth.
Three important life lessons to share with children of any age
The Lesson of Gratitude
Teaching gratitude can seem tricky, especially when so often children have a well-deserved reputation for self-centeredness and selfishness. However, gratitude is an essential lesson. Children who are thankful not only are polite and pleasant, they are sensitive and empathetic to the feelings of others and also develop strong leadership ability and life skills.
A simple way to instill gratitude is to take a daily gratitude inventory. Ask each person in the family to list and share all the things they are grateful for in their life. Not only do you learn something about your family, it’s a fun way to see how priorities change over the years. For example, a three-year-old may be grateful for his favorite truck while a sixteen-year-old may be thankful to drive a truck.
The Lesson of Responsibility
There is no greater teacher than a good example. Teaching responsibility, the act of being answerable and accountable for your words and actions, requires you be that example. Parents have to model the behaviors they hope their children adopt as their own.
Do what you say you will do, be honest in your dealings with your peers, show courage in standing up for your beliefs, and maintain self respect for self and others. Additionally, to teach responsibility, be prepared to give your child the space to make his or her own choices and deal with the consequences, both positive and negative.
The Lesson of Service
Teaching the lesson of service or giving back helps children learn compassion and empathy while also strengthening their own self-esteem and confidence. Often, all it takes is one act of selflessness to make selfishness go away and open a child’s eyes to the joy of service.
So, what can you do to teach the lesson of service? Small acts of kindness, like sharing a smile, holding the door open for another or baking cookies for a neighbor, are fantastic ways to teach service. You may also want to create a family giving box where everyone can regularly add a small amount of money to contribute to a group or cause.
You will always be their first teacher. Instilling the lessons of gratitude, responsibility and service will not only make you the most important teacher in their lives, it will set them up to become a teacher and leader of others.
Parenting 101: The Road Less Traveled: Do As I Say and As I Do – Teaching Kids about Character
Children learn to imitate at a very young age. It’s how they learn to behave, care for themselves, develop new skills, and communicate with others. From their earliest moments, children watch you closely and begin to pattern their own behavior and beliefs after yours. The example you set becomes a permanent model that will influence and often shape their attitudes and actions for the rest of their life.
Consistently demonstrating habits of character, such as gratitude, responsibility, integrity, unity and service will help build a strong sense of security and self-esteem. Learning character will help your begin to feel more confident and more connected at home, school and in the community. He or she will start to feel like a leader.
Three simple ways to model habits of character for your child
#1: Take care of yourself – It’s important to take good care of yourself. When you focus on what is best for your child, it can become easy to neglect your own needs. Your child is counting on you physically and emotionally, so it’s imperative that you model for your child that taking care of yourself helps you to take care of him or her as well as your entire family. Making your own self-care a priority also shows your child that not only do you love them and the rest of the family, but you love yourself as well. Whether you treat yourself to a night out or start your own business, you are teaching your child that you are not only a parent of character, but a person of character.
#2: Nurture relationships – Whether your spouse, family member or friends, it’s important to nurture relationships. Let your child see you communicate in a positive and healthy manner with others. Express gratitude and show love and affection for one another so your child can begin to learn early on what healthy relationships should be like.
#3: Own up – Stop making excuses for mishaps, delays and errors in judgment. Rather, own up to mistakes when you make them, and take responsibility for being open and host about these mistakes. When you take responsibility for your words and actions, you reinforce messages of integrity, trust and honest. You reinforce messages – and habits – of character.
It’s important to be the person you want your child to be. When you consistently demonstrate habits of character with your child, you will soon see him or her patterning many behaviors after your own. You will see your child do as you do and as you say.
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