Safety Starts at Home – Preventing the Most Common Careless Household Accidents
We all experience those accidents around the home – the ones that we know are completely stupid and should have known better to avoid, but happened anyway. Whether it’s because we’re rushing around and not being as careful as we should be or one of those freak things that occurred because someone else in the house is at fault, these injuries can sometimes be serious.
The Most Common Careless Accidents that Happen Around the Home
The Dishwasher Daggers – No, it probably wasn’t you that put the sharp knives pointing up in the dishwasher but before you put your hand in be sure they’re not facing up. A woman actually died when she tripped on the open dishwasher and impaled herself on a knife that was pointing up.
The Furniture Polish Peril – If you, or a family member, are using furniture polish on a piece of furniture in a room with tile floors, apply carefully. If the polish gets onto the floor it will create a surface as slippery as ice. Not only could someone slip and break their leg, hip or arm but could also hit their head on the edge of the furniture that was being polished.
The Garbage Gouge – Whether it’s tossing a glass jar into the garbage, which then breaks or throwing away a broken glass, be careful when you are lifting the garbage bag out of the can to take it outside. As you lift it, the glass can cut through the bag and lacerate your leg.
The Handrail Hazard – As we’re racing down the stairs in the morning with coffee cup, or baby in one hand, and a purse or diaper bag in the other, we can turn a quick trip into a tripping hazard. It’s easy for the strap of the purse or diaper bag to get hooked onto the top of the hand rail, sending you, the hot coffee and even your baby tumbling down the stairs.
The Small Pet Stumble – Even if you’ve had your pet for years, there’s going to be that one time you turn around from the stove with a pot of boiling water and your cat or small dog will be behind you, causing you to trip and have scalding water cover you, your pet and anyone else around you.
The Car Door Crunch – When we’re late for work, school or some activity, getting our toddlers into their car seats seems to take forever. Make it a habit to insist on “hands on head” however, to be sure there are no little fingers in the door as you slam it shut. And be sure any older children still standing outside the car have their fingers away from the hinge to prevent the same thing.
The Stockinged Feet Slide – For many of us who don’t like shoes worn in the home, we’re usually in socks, tights or some other soft covering on our feet. And, on stairs without carpeting or treads, it just takes one foot placed the wrong way to go sliding down the entire staircase.
Mission Possible – Using a Family Mission Statement to Connect your Family
Does your family have a mission?
Cue the Mission: Impossible theme song. I am an action flick gal. I have seen every James Bond movie at least three times, I was first in line to see Transformers, and I never miss a superhero adventure.
So, when the topic of missions comes up, it is no surprise that the first thing that pops in my mind is the theme song from Mission: Impossible. The mission I have in mind isn’t an impossible one, but like the M:I character, Ethan Hunt, it does require a focus and teamwork to achieve it.
Whether it’s a top-secret mission, one from God or one from within, a mission declares what you would like your life to look. It directs your life and asserts your purpose. It answers questions, such as: How do we choose to live our life? What values support us? What are our priorities?
So, your, well, mission – should you choose to accept it – is to identify and craft your own family mission statement. Whether you are a family of two or twenty, a mission statement provides everyone a say in how the family goes and grows in life as an individuals and as a team.
7 Steps to Creating Your Family Mission
#1: Establish your personal mission. Consider the current status of your life, values, priorities, goals, education, professional pursuits, leisure activities and roles you enjoy on a regular basis. Get specific! (If you haven’t done a Life Perspective Plan, you get one at juliesmith.com.) Encourage your spouse, life partner, and/or older children to determine their personal mission as well.
#2: Gather all the family members for a family meeting. Be sure to include anyone that lives in the same house: younger children, children who live/visit on a part-time basis and even grandparents who may live in the home. Explain that you will all be contributing to the creation of a mission statement. Let your family know that a mission is NOT a list of rules, requirements or punishments; rather, it is a roadmap for the family’s journey through life.
#3: Characterize your family by asking each family member list adjectives that describe your family. For example, our family describes itself as loving, quirky, authentic, funny, kind, creative and smart. (Be sure everyone contributes.) As each word is shared, list it on a white board for all to see. Additionally, ask family members to listen without judgment as each person’s shares his or her dreams, goals, priorities, and if completed, personal mission. These contributions start to lay the foundation of what your family mission will encompass.
#4: Brainstorm ideas to include in your family mission statement. Ask each person to contribute ideas. (Remember to do this without censorship as this is a brainstorming session.) Prompt ideas with questions such as: “What goals do we have as a family?” “If there was a definition of us in the dictionary, what would it say?” “If a stranger met us, what would they think of our interactions together?” “What inside jokes does our family share?” “What traits do we admire?” “What do we find unacceptable?” “If we were honored at an award show, what award would we win?”
#5: Craft your mission by forming the ideas in sentences. Once you have composed your sentences into a statement, edit it until everyone is agreement with both the words and the sentiment. An example may be, “The Smiths live authentically and judgment-free. We strive for continued growth, knowledge and new experiences. We are not defined by one trait or thought; rather, we are motivated by our qualities: quirky, creative, intellect, kind, honest and fun. Collectively and individually, we create the life we want.”
#6: Refine your mission into a short motto. A motto is one sentence that summarizes your family’s mission. Depending on your family, you may choose to write it in code, rhyme or verse. Some families create a catchy, humorous affirmation as their motto. The key is to make it easy to remember and touch on at lest a few of the points in your mission. My family’s motto is “The Smiths are true to their best selves.” It also could be funny or in code, as long as your family knows what it means and represents.
#7: Print out your motto and family mission statement, and ask everyone sign and date it. Post both mission and motto in a variety of prominent places in your home and business. Start creating habits and objectives that support your mission. As decisions are made both at home and business, tie them back to your family mission to ensure alignment in both areas for ultimate success.
Looking for more tips on teaching kids about character? Connect with Julie at www.juliesmith.com!
Advice for Dr. Mom: Guts and Gross Stuff – Teaching Kids How Their Digestive System Works
The digestive system is the system in the body that is responsible for the breakdown of food, absorption of nutrients from food, and the elimination of the waste and water the body does not need.
It’s made up of important organs, parts and chemicals, which all work together to do these things. One might compare the digestive system to a hose that is 25 to 35 feet long. This would be measuring from the mouth to the end of the large intestine, and taking into consideration that most of the hose is neatly coiled up in your abdomen.
The digestive system’s main job is to turn foods we eat into tiny particles that the body can absorb and use for energy, maintenance, growth and repair. It also keeps bacteria or foreign bugs from entering the bloodstream. The stomach and its hydrochloric acid are designed to kill any unwanted visitors.
The digestive process begins in the mouth with teeth chewing food. Saliva, produced by the salivary glands in the mouth, also helps break down food, making it easier to swallow. Once the food is broken down, it is called a bolus. Chewing food is extremely important because it stimulates the brain to tell the stomach that stuff is on the way.
The stomach then gets prepared by producing hydrochloric acid to break the bolus down even more and kill any foreign bugs. The bolus travels to the back of the mouth with the help of a powerful muscle: the tongue where the uvula, or that flap that hangs down at the back of your mouth, helps direct the bolus down the esophagus.
The epiglottis is a sort of valve that makes sure that the bolus goes down the esophagus and not the trachea, or windpipe. The esophagus is approximately 10 inches long and the bolus takes about 6 seconds to get down it and into the stomach.
Digestion continues in the stomach and the small intestine with the help of the pancreas, liver and gallbladder. The pancreas produces digestive juices and the liver produces bile, which both aid in further food breakdown. The gallbladder stores bile until it is needed in the stomach.
Absorption occurs after the bolus is completely broken down into nutrients. The nutrients will now travel through the lining of the small intestine and into the bloodstream to the liver. The liver stores the nutrients until the body needs them.
Finally, elimination, or pooping, occurs after all the necessary nutrients have been absorbed and only waste is left in the large intestine. Any excess water goes to the kidneys and leaves via the bladder, as urine.
The digestive system is so important to your health. If you take care to eat healthy foods and drink lots of water, and remember to eat slowly and chew your food very well, you are doing your part to help your digestive system do the best job it can, which in turn helps you stay healthy!
Visit Dr. Heather, ND and Human Body Detectives series for kids, to learn more about Dr. Heather and her mission to have families be more proactive and healthy in their lives. You can also join the conversation on Twitter @drheathernd and HBD on Facebook.
Safety First: The Shocking Truth about Sex Abuse – How to Protect Your Children from Predators
The sex abuse cases that you see on the news or hear about are just the tip of the iceberg. Even as the magnitude of Penn State sex abuse case hit the news, I knew it was only a matter of time before more schools would become embroiled in similar crisis.
Unfortunately, my predictions were accurate. The Citadel admitted to failing to take action against a student accused of inappropriate behavior with a boy a summer camp and now Syracuse University has fired assistant coach Bernie Fine amid allegations that he molested at least two ball boys.
While hearing about these stories in the media horrifies virtually everyone, most parents still sit back and think, “This happens to other people, not my child.” This denial is understandable – it’s too painful to even think that sex abuse could happen to one’s own child. But the sad reality is that it is happening all too frequently.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, about 1 out of 5 girls and 1 out of 10 boys will be sexually abused during their childhood. To put that in perspective, in a class of 20 students, at least 4 will have been sexually abused by the time they graduate from high school.
What Can We as Parents Do to Protect Our Children?
First, we can’t assume our children, even our older children, understand sex abuse. Understandably, it’s a difficult topic to bring up, but as parents we must.
Using recent events as a teachable moment, I started to discuss the topic of sex abuse with my extremely bright nine-year old. I was shocked to find that she didn’t understand that if someone – even someone she knew – touched her genitals it was against the law.
We sometimes assume our kids know more than they do and it’s critical that we teach them what to do if someone tries to sexually abuse them and look for signs if they already have been abused.
Start Conversations about Sex Abuse Early and Often
A child as young as three-years-old needs to understand when touching is inappropriate. Discussing their body should be treated just like a conversation about any other safety issue and discussions about touching their body should never be considered “dirty” or “bad.”
It’s important to use the appropriate words when speaking to children so they gain a healthy body image. “Private parts” or “special hug” could mean something different to a child. Be clear in the parts of his or her body that should not be touched. This isn’t a conversation to have once; it needs to be revisited as your child matures.
Seek Out Educational Resources on Sex Abuse
Let’s face it – this is one of the most uncomfortable conversations you can have with your kids but thankfully, it’s not something you need to tackle alone. Take advantage of the educational resources available to parents.
Jill Starishevsky, a New York prosecutor of child abuse and sex crimes, has written a book My Body Belongs To Me (www.mybodybelongstome.com) which teaches children about inappropriate touching and can be used as a guide for caregivers and parents to discuss abuse with their children.
Additionally, the website Stop It Now! (www.stopitnow.org) is a great resource with guidebooks, the latest research and treatment options.
Teach Your Child the Courage to Talk about Sex Abuse
Sex abuse occurs because, even though the child feels uncomfortable and knows it’s wrong, they’re too scared to say anything.
Remember, this isn’t about strangers. Statistics have shown that in the vast majority of child sex abuse cases it is someone that the child knows, either a family member, friend or trusted adult, whom they have been taught to respect.
The abuser will tell the child that if they tell anyone about the abuse they won’t be believed, that the abuser (someone they care about) will have to go to jail, that their family will break up or that the abuser will hurt the child’s mother.
Your child must be told by you that they should never believe these comments and that you will always believe them if they come to you with this information. Suggest to them other people they could tell if they were abused such as a teacher, another family member or even the police.
Kids need to understand that most adults are not going to abuse them but that it is not appropriate for any adult to ask to be their friend or keep secrets. If anyone makes them feel bad, uncomfortable or scared with their words or actions they should tell you immediately.
Even if you have had conversations with your kids, abuse can still occur. Parents need to be willing to consider upsetting possibilities – that the abuser could be a stepparent, brother or grandfather. It’s also important to remember that the abuse often occurs in a familiar, safe place such as their home, school, afterschool club or the abuser’s home.
Watch for signs that could indicate your child has been abused:
- Sleep problems – Nightmares that are frightening or sexual in nature
- Changes in eating habits – Dieting excessively, refusing to eat, trouble swallowing
- Behavior issues – Mood swings, rages, anger, depression, withdrawal
- Suddenly reluctant to be alone with a certain person or go somewhere familiar
- Acts out sexual behavior with stuffed animals, writes or draws sexual images, asks other children to act out sexual scenarios or becomes sexually promiscuous
- A regression in older children to bed-wetting or thumb sucking. For younger children, new phrases for their body parts and refusal to take off clothes at appropriate times such as bathing, using the toilet or changing for bed.
- For teens, self-mutilation, running away, and suicide attempts.
If you are at all concerned, talk to your child immediately and explain that nothing they did was wrong. Remind them that it’s your job to keep them safe and they can trust you to protect them if something has happened. Immediately have your child checked by your pediatrician and keep any potential evidence for the authorities.
Parenting 101: Giving First – Teaching Kids about Giving in the Season of Gift Overwhelm
Several years ago, I recall asking my just-turned-five-year-old son to gather items to donate to a children’s hospital for the young patients. I closed my eyes and prepared for howls of “What do you mean you’re giving away my toys?!” It never came.
As I opened my eyes, I saw him enthusiastically hauling toys from his toybox and beyond. He relinquished his old baby rattles, Legos, and his prized super hero collection. I asked if he really wanted to take all these items. “Yes, mom,” he replied. As we loaded up our car, I praised him for wanting to give his toys to those in need. That’s when it hit…
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE GIVING AWAY MY TOYS?!” he yelled.
“Honey, I said we were going to donate today.”
“Donate? I thought we were getting a donut.”
Chuckling as I retrieved 20 Rescue Heroes from the lot, I sat down to explain the difference between donate and donut. I couldn’t help but wonder, though, how we teach our children the concept of giving back, of unselfishness, especially during season of holiday overwhelm.
Are toddlers and preschoolers too young? Did we miss the boat if our children are already teens? Not at all. From birth well into their teens and beyond, we can continue to provide our children with the tools to care for those in need – from the friend whose parents are divorcing to the homeless man living on the city streets to victims of unforeseen disasters.
We, as parents, are the most important tool to show our children selflessness.
Providing a home environment that is filled with empathy, generosity, compassion, kindness and consideration creates an ideal learning area for your children. When children witness your positive behavior, they have a greater tendency to model it.
Spend time with your children. Read books to young ones about manners, sharing and holiday giving. As they grow, openly discuss events such as homelessness and have your child help you create and act on solutions to help those that have been affected.
Teaching Your Kids about Giving First
Encourage Sharing. Whether toys, time, or ideas, sharing is something we preach to our children from day one; however, it is not until they reach the preschool years that they really understand the concept. Sharing is an excellent opportunity to lay the groundwork for helping others. Seize moments to help promote empathy. If your child’s sibling or friend is sad, you could encourage your child to share something with them to make them feel better.
For example, “Sweetie, Mary looks so sad, because she doesn’t have any Care Bears to play with and you have two. I bet it would make her feel really good if you let her play with one of yours for awhile.” As your children grow, encourage them to give their unused or duplicate toys to someone in need.
Be a Good Example. Expand your children’s opportunities of consideration by encouraging altruistic acts. Don’t be modest – point out your own unselfish ways. Let them identify with the emotions behind the act. Explain why you want to help others.
For example, you might say, “I’m so saddened by this story on the news about a family who cannot pay for Christmas gifts; I am going to write a check (send goods, volunteer time, etc) to help them out. Can you imagine if that happened to our family?”
Model Selflessness. Make selflessness a family event. Include volunteer work and social responsibility as part of your family definition or mission is key to letting your children know that you are committed to helping others.
Find volunteer activities that hold interest, such as baking treats for a convalescent center, so they become vested in the project. There are several organizations like The United Way and VolunteerMatch.com to help you find an activity that fits your family.
Pay Attention. Lastly, and probably most importantly, take the time to notice and praise your child’s selfless behavior and act. Your appreciation and love for their selflessness will encourage your child to continue to care for those in need while also strengthening your relationship and your family bonds.
Oh, and don’t forget to share a donut or two along the way this holiday season as well.
Want more information on heart-centered programs for kids? Check out Julie online at www.JulieSmith.com!
Healthy Kids: Kids and Colds – Healthy Habits to Keep Your Family Germ-Free this Winter
It’s that time of year again: cold and flu season and even though it seems like kids and colds go hand-in-hand, it doesn’t mean you need to run out and stock up on Kleenex. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
It’s true that germs are everywhere, and your kids will be at school, daycare or playgroups with coughing, sneezing and runny nosed children. It’s impossible to avoid the germs, but you can protect yourself and your kids by picking up a few healthy habits at your house this winter!
Eat Plenty of Fruits and Vegetables – Encourage your kids to try to eat a rainbow of colors every day. Cut into fun shapes, put on a stick and dip into yogurt, try broiled grapefruit or barbecued pineapple. Freeze grapes or a banana dipped in a little chocolate. Add pureed squash to thicken chili or spaghetti sauce. Make fruits and vegetables part of every meal.
Eat Yogurt – It has good bacteria that help your immune system resist colds! Add to a morning shake, put a few spoonfuls on the kids’ cereal, use as a dip for bananas, melon or apples before bedtime.
Drink Lots – Water is best, or 100% juice, to flush out the bad and keep you well hydrated. Dilute juice with water for same great taste and less sugar! Make your own fun flavours of water by adding lemon, or frozen melon, strawberries and grapes! Add orange, pineapple, passion fruit and cranberry juice together in a fancy glass for a fun treat the kids will love.
Wash Everything! – Doorknobs, light switches, telephones and remote controls all share your families’ germs! Wash kids hands and faces, even when not dirty. Get into the habit of washing up after school, before meals and even before bed.
Get Outside – So much fun can be had outside in the winter – go for a hike or build a hill in your front yard and toboggan with the kids! While you are at it, open the windows occasionally to bring some of that fresh air inside to rid your house of any lurking airborne virus.
Exercise Regularly – Did you know exercise that gets your heart pumping and oxygen flowing actually increases your body’s ability to ward off cold germs?
Get Enough Sleep – Getting the proper amount of rest give your body the energy it needs to fight off the cold and flu virus.
Take your Vitamins – Always good to fill in any gaps from your diet with a range of vitamins. Multi, Omega, Vitamin D, B12, and Calcium are all vital to a healthy immune system. Make sure you are getting enough!
The best defense against any illness is always a strong immune system. A healthy diet rich in protein, grains and all the vitamins your body needs, plus regular fresh air, exercise, plenty of fluids and rest, is sure to keep your family feeling good this winter!
Want to keep your family healthy this winter? Try Iron Kids Gummy vitamins or Adult Essentials Gummy vitamins!
Safety First: Teaching Kids Safe Surfing Habits – How to Guide Your Children in an Online World
The Internet is a wonderful way for children to learn about the world, to be creative, to study, to be entertained, and to communicate with friends and family. But it can also bring risks, exposing young minds to inappropriate content and strangers who may not always have the best intentions. During this holiday season, keep in mind your kids will spend more time online and you need to be watchful.
For concerned parents, it’s no longer possible to keep our kids away from computers and pretend the Internet doesn’t exist. Instead, we need to properly prepare them for a digital future and coach them so they can make good decisions. That means understanding our children’s online activities and developing rules and guidelines that both the parent and child can embrace.
5 Tips for Providing a Safe and Secure Environment Online
#1: Be informed – Find out what your child likes to do on the Web, which sites he likes to visit, and which games he plays. Spend time together online and show an interest in what he’s doing. Asking him what are his favorites will also allow you to create a teachable bonding moment.
#2: Start a dialogue – Talk to your child about online safety and be specific about your concerns. Let him know there are safe and unsafe web sites, just as there are safe and unsafe places to go in the real world. Talk about the importance of resisting contact with people he doesn’t know, and immediately telling you about anything that makes him uncomfortable.
#3: Protect personal information – Teach your child to respect personal information, both his own and other people’s. Teach him never to share passwords, phone numbers, addresses, or other personal information, and to never post pictures or information about other people without their permission.
#4: Click smart – Teach your child not to open files or click on links unless they are from a trusted source. Talk about the dangers of malware and how viruses can harm files and the performance of the computer.
#5: Install parental controls – Install a top-rated suite of parental controls to protect your home computers and monitor your child’s use. All-in-one solutions include blocking features to restrict or filter inappropriate content, time-management controls to limit screen time, and tools to monitor your child’s communications. Let your child know that you have installed parental controls; trust is the foundation of good decision-making.
If you maintain a dialogue and are consistent in your approach, your child will quickly develop the good online habits that will be so important through the teen years and beyond. Don’t leave it to chance or let others teach your child. Become an online parent today!
Want more tips on online parenting? Visit TheOnlineMom.com for tips on how to keep your family safe and secure online!
Parenting 101: Teaching Kids About Germs – Explaining the Immune System to Kids
Human beings live with and are surrounded by billions of bacteria and viruses. Some are good and help our bodies, but some make us sick. Lucky for us — and not so lucky for the bad bugs — getting into the human body is not easy. These bug invaders will try to get through in many ways: through the skin, nose, mouth, ears or eyes.
Thankfully the body’s immune system has incredible defense mechanisms designed to keep the invaders out: the skin is thick and hard to penetrate; the nose has cilia (little tiny hairs) and goopy mucus that trap dirt and bugs; the eyes have tears that wash them away; and the mouth produces saliva and other chemicals the bugs do not like.
These are the immune system’s first line of defense. Occasionally, bug invaders do break through this line of defense and enter the body, and when that happens the body works in even more amazing ways to protect itself.
The brain sends an alert signal out to the immune system. This signal triggers inflammation, which causes the blood vessels to dilate and increase blood flow. When this happens, a team of white blood cells, or leukocytes, flocks to the scene of the crime.
There are many types of white blood cells, including macrophages, lymphocytes, basophils, neutrophils, and eosinophils. The different white blood cells all have different jobs and come from different areas in the body such as the thymus, spleen, or bone marrow. They can travel through the blood but usually travel through a special system designed just for them, called the lymphatic system.
Once at the invasion site, the white blood cells get to work doing their special jobs. The macrophages will eat up the invaders, and the lymphocytes will not only help destroy the invaders but will remember and recognize them, in case a similar bug comes in for a future attack. White blood cells are like little warriors floating around in your blood waiting to protect you from any virus or bacteria enemies.
To help the immune system stay strong and healthy, it is very important to eat healthy, balanced meals full of colorful fruits and vegetables, and not too much sugar. The invaders love sugar as it makes them grow stronger and even multiply. It is also essential to get plenty of sleep, have fun, laugh a lot, and be happy!
For children to learn more about the immune system, Dr. Heather has created an elementary curriculum that follows her award winning story in the human Body Detectives series, The Lucky Escape. To bring the curriculum into your child’s school visit the Human Body Detectives website.
Parenting 101: You Want Me to Say WHAT? Talking About Sex With Your Kids
If you’re a parent, you know well that you have many jobs when it comes to your children’s well-being. But did you know that one of these is being your child’s sexuality educator?
Teaching your child about sexuality, in the context of your own family values, is one of the most important jobs you have—yet it is the job parents usually get the least amount of training to do.
The very idea of talking about sexuality tends to raise a myriad of questions for parents: What’s appropriate to say at which ages? Shouldn’t I wait for my child to bring it up? What if I don’t know how to answer my child’s questions?
Relax! There are some basic ways that you can let your children know that you are a safe, “askable” adult—no matter what they might have questions about.
Tip #1: It’s Never Too Early to Start. It’s important to remember that sexuality has to do with far more than “sex.” “Sexuality” is a far-reaching, comprehensive term that encompasses everything from physical anatomy to understanding how to treat people with respect, to learning how pregnancy happens, and much, much more.
When you understand this, you know that children are receiving messages about sexuality from the day they are born—from the words people use around them to describe their body parts to messages they get from family, peers and the media about how they are supposed to behave based on their assigned gender. The longer you wait to talk with your child, the more you are competing with what they’re hearing all around them.
The important phrase here is “age-appropriate”—what your child needs to know as a kindergartener is much different from what she or he needs to know in high school. Start early, start slowly—and if you’re unsure, reach out for some guidance.
Tip #2: It’s Never Too LATE to Start. If you are the parent of an adolescent and you haven’t yet started talking with your child, you didn’t miss the proverbial boat. Start now and keep talking.
As your children get older, they will need to know new information with each passing year and be faced with making decisions about relationships and shared sexual behaviors. Your guidance will be imperative throughout their adolescent years.
Try to put the idea of having “the” talk out of your mind. You need to talk early, and often!
Tip #3: Take Small Bites. You don’t need to cover absolutely everything in one conversation with your child. It will overwhelm you as much as it will your child!
Look for teachable moments: watch television with your child and mute the television during commercials to discuss something you’ve just seen.
Take advantage of car rides to and from school and other activities. This is a non-threatening place to have discussions about sexuality and other important topics.
Tip #4: Talk with Your Partner or Spouse about Your Values. If you are married or in a relationship, make sure that you and your spouse or partner talk about your values and beliefs relating to sexuality so that if you have individual conversations with your child, the messages you are giving are consistent.
Be sure to deal with any differences you may have in your opinions and values away from your child. For example, if one of you believes it’s okay for 13-year-olds to date but the other thinks that that’s too young, you need to have that conversation independent of your child and figure out together how to respond in ways that provide information without undermining either one of you or your beliefs.
Tip #5: If You Don’t Know, Say “I Don’t Know.” There is a strong pressure on parents to know everything. Although we may love it when our kids are younger and think we do, we can’t possibly. The good news is there are tons of web sites, books and other resources for parents.
If you’re stumped, be honest with your child, saying something like, “That’s a really great question. To be honest, I don’t know the answer. Let’s go look it up online together.” You won’t lose validity in your child’s eyes. In fact, he or she will appreciate your honesty.
There’s nothing about becoming a parent that makes us instant experts in sexuality—or in any other topic for that matter. But the good news is, you’re not alone.
You can get support from trained sexuality educators, learn from fellow parents and get guidance from folks in your faith community, if you are a member of one. Talking about sexuality isn’t always easy, but it is always important.
Answer is a national sexuality education organization dedicated to providing and promoting comprehensive sexuality education to young people and the adults who teach them, including parents, teachers and other educators. For more information, visit http://answer.rutgers.edu. Teens can find medically accurate, age-appropriate information on the teen Web site, Sexetc.org.
Parenting 101: The Homework Debate – How to Navigate the Politics of Homework and Engage Little Learners
The issue of homework is still one of those really intense issues that gets talked about around the lunch tables, water coolers and playgrounds everywhere. Teachers talk about it too and just like every family has their take on what homework should look like, so does every individual teacher.
Some people believe that homework can make learning rote and easily forgotten, not to mention, it cuts into family time at night. Yet others believe that the traditional way of struggling through homework every night contributes to a healthy work ethic and creates good habits that will serve students well in the higher grades.
In extreme views, parents evaluate a school’s effectiveness and status by the amount of homework that is assigned on a regular basis. Schools such as this maintain a very strict homework policy and parents that subscribe to the traditional view of “just work through it kiddo, I had to” love this ideology and enrollment stays up.
Navigating the Politics of Homework
While it’s hard these days to find articles that question the validity of homework, there is an abundance of information out there that simply explains the traditional benefits of completing homework, how best to complete it and how to set “your child up for success”.
On the other hand, there are parents out there that have this sense of discomfort around it, yet cannot find the evidence or “another way” to explain what we intuitively know. Why does my child have to do another two hours of work tonight? What does this worksheet have to do with the lesson from class today? What will happen, really happen, if my child doesn’t complete this assignment?
We as parents can appreciate the “big idea” behind getting through the assignment. We had to struggle through boring work and we are just fine. The ability to work through discomfort and to complete a task even when it isn’t fun, or interesting or engaging is something to be proud of.
This lesson needn’t always be taught through the drudgery of inconsequential homework assignments. Why not teach this lesson through weekend chores that come with consequences if not completed and earned (delayed) rewards if completed adequately? That’s how life works isn’t it?
Considerations for Determining Your Stance on Homework
We as parents have to accept that homework is not going away. Consider these ideas as you evaluate your stance around the hot homework debate.
#1: Get to know your school or district’s homework policy – What are the guidelines and who made them? How are they enforced and what is the rationale or research behind them?
#2: Talk to your child’s teacher about their personal homework policy – Your child’s teacher may have a different take on the official policy and may deliver the goods much differently than other teachers. Some teachers shun homework altogether. Some may send home only what wasn’t completed in class. Others may send home booklets to be completed on a regular basis. Start the conversation around what is expected and why.
#3: Evaluate the “worth of the work” – Is it stimulating or is it rote memorization? Is it simple tasks full of repetition or is it rich in higher-level thinking? Does it require endurance or is it interesting and engaging? Yes, sometimes there are pieces of work that just need to get done, but overall what is the value of the majority of the tasks your child is being asked to do?
How to Create an Engaging Learning Environment
An engaging, higher-level thinking task will get your child’s attention without you forcing it. Isn’t that the dream of every parent and the whole idea behind lifelong learning? Engaging tasks are:
Relevant in the life of the child – There is something about it that the child identifies with and can see purpose in doing it.
Co-created – When a child has had input into what they are working on, they feel valued and automatically have a stake in the outcome. Rather than always being told what to learn, the child chooses an aspect of an idea to ponder and work on based on either their natural abilities or interests. Teachers that pay attention to this element of task design have engaged students that WANT to work on projects “after hours”.
Big ideas – Children love to dream, and they can dream big. When a topic catches their imagination, it will have them researching, asking and questioning all aspects of it. Adults sometimes tend to break down the dreaming big process for kids, coming from a more “realistic” and jaded viewpoint. The beauty of the “what ifs” kids bring should be celebrated and explored.
Set clear expectations – Children need to know the target they are aiming for, the focus of the task and the process they need to complete in order to know they’ve completed it well. Some teachers use “rubrics”, a set of expectations that set the benchmark for what is expected. These expectations need to be shared with the student right from the get-go. This decreases anxiety and allows for constant self-evaluation of the product, a process of higher-level thinking.
Collaborative – Students are growing up in a world where collaboration is the new norm. The workplace has become a champion of this approach, yet schools are still places where kids are required to work alone. Your child should have the opportunity to talk to classmates, adults and anyone that will listen to their ideas. With technology working for them, they can engage in conversations with kids around the world about their learning!
Many parents love these ideas and yearn for these kinds of tasks for their child but struggle in a system where they feel their voices aren’t heard. The question then becomes, what are we as parents willing to do to ensure that our kids get great learning experiences?
The reality of schools is that teacher’s time is scarce, the resources are few and numbers keep increasing. We need to step in and have a part in our children’s futures, that’s the fact.
Are you willing to talk to your child’s teacher about working together on engaging tasks? Will you provide your expertise in your child’s classroom? Will you take on the heated homework debate and when you choose your stance will you base it on solid evidence?
Your child sure hopes you will!
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- I love that @AlyPain tells it like it is --> STOP Blaming Your Children - Why YOUR Failure Isn't THEIR Fault - http://t.co/LPo51mgI
- Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, "Make me feel important." ~Mary Kay Ash
