Family Friday: What Matters, Dear Amazon, is Protecting Our Kids – Let’s Turn Controversy into Public Awareness

Nothing divides like human rights versus protecting society. That’s what caused with social media uproar with Amazon defending their right to sell a controversial how-to guide, and parents and advertisers threatening to pull their business from the online giant.

The issue isn’t freedom of speech versus censorship, or a company’s right to make a profit at all costs or even when a brand should rethink a bad decision and give in to public pressure. The issue, Dear Amazon, is protecting our children from the kind of ruthless predators who would put the information contained in “The Guide” to use.

“If we are going to arm pedophiles with an instruction manual, why not arm children with the information they need to recognize and avoid this behavior?” says New York City Child Abuse and Sex Crimes Prosecutor Jill Starishevsky.

Abusers can only function as long as the child keeps their “secret”. According to Starishevsky, when a touching has occurred, the abuser will admonish the child not to tell, citing reasons ranging from “Don’t tell anyone because no one will believe you.” to “If you tell, it will break the family up.”

Let’s Turn the Amazon Controversy into Public Awareness

Yes, join the public outcry that pressured Amazon into finally doing the right thing and pulling the deplorable guide from their online retail site. Yes, send brand giant Amazon a clear message by closing your Amazon accounts and take your Christmas shopping business elsewhere.

But instead of drawing more attention to the evil giant Amazon and their inconsistent policies regarding censorship, the same attention that increased the sales of the guide 110,000 in one day, take this opportunity to draw attention to the real problem: child abusers and their victims.

3 Tips Every Parent Should Know to Keep Children Safe

The fact is that educating your children on stranger danger isn’t enough. Starishevsky points out that more than 90% of sexually abused children are the victims of someone they know and trust.

#1: No secrets. Period. – Encourage your children to tell you about things that happen to them that make them feel scared, sad or uncomfortable. If children have an open line of communication, they will be more inclined to alert you to something suspicious before it becomes a problem. The way to effectuate this rule is as follows: If someone, even a grandparent, were to say something to your child such as “I’ll get you an ice cream later, but it will be our secret”, firmly, but politely say “We don’t do secrets in our family.” Then say to the child “Right? We don’t do secrets. We can tell each other everything.”

#2: Teach your child the correct terms for their body parts – Using proper terms will make them more at ease if they need to tell you about a touch that made them feel uncomfortable. Additionally, if a child uses a word like “cookie” or “peanuts” to describe their private parts, a disclosure might be missed. Keep in mind that children may be confronted with another child who touches their private parts. Explain that private parts are private from everyone – including other children. The same rules apply –if another child touches them inappropriately, they should tell a parent or teacher right away.

#3: Let children decide for themselves how they want to express affection – Children should not be forced to hug or kiss if they are uncomfortable. Even if they are your favorite aunt, uncle or cousin, your child should not be forced to be demonstrative in their affection. While this may displease you, by doing this, you will empower your child to say no to inappropriate touching.

Thank you to Jill Starishevsky, author of the children’s book “My Body Belongs to Me” for sharing her tips on how to keep children safe.

Please join me in turning the Amazon controversy into public awareness by sharing this post or reposting the tips on how to keep children safe from sexual abuse.