Have you ever felt like you were playing small, limiting your joy, and compromising your talents? So many of us go through life in our comfort zone, never daring to dream big. We are just too afraid to face all the negative emotions and limiting decision that are exposed when we speak and write our dreams. Some of us may express our desire to succeed, but often our internal dialogue is out of integrity with our external dialogue.
In other words, internally we recycle thoughts of worry, fear and despair at record speed throughout the day. This is essentially self-sabotage. At one time in my life, I did not believe I could be happy, healthy and wealthy. I thought that it was impossible and quite frankly, just plain greedy. I had to let go of that limiting belief, which was not working for me. I replaced it with the belief in my authentic power.
The 7 Steps for Holistic Success will lead you to an understanding of your self imposed limitations so you can break free and live your dreams:
#1: Start With a Dream
Write your dreams on paper and allow yourself to dream without limitations. Pay attention to how you feel after you write your dreams. If you experience anxiety and fear, you may be running some limiting beliefs that are preventing you from achieving your dreams. Ask yourself, “What would I want in my life if I did not have to be unhappy not getting it?” This may sound like a trick question, simply stated: “What would you want if you could detach from the emotions of not having it?”
#2: Get Specific With Your Goals
When you write your goals be specific. Write your goals in the present tense as if you already have what you want. Make your goals measurable so you can know when you get there. Make sure to include a specific time, including day, month and year in which you want your goal to be realized. Once you write your goals listen to your internal conversation.
#3: Step It Back
Take your end goal and step it back to create a plan. Start by defining exactly how you will know when you have achieved your goal. The next step is to create a plan by taking one step back at a time. For example, imagine your goal is to open a restaurant. The last step is opening night, the step before that is planning the launch party, some steps before that would be the construction details, picking a location, getting investors, and so on.
#4: Focus, Focus, Focus
Spend 3 minutes a day focusing on your goals. If you write your goals and then file them away, the odds are the goals are not on your radar. The best way to do this exercise is to write down all the specific details of what you want to achieve. Do this using the 3P rule. Write each statement in Present tense, use Positive language and make it Powerful. You know when it’s a powerful statement when it evokes a strong positive emotion.
#5: Give Gratitude
Gratitude is the rich soil where you plant your dreams. Start each day giving gratitude for what you experienced in the last 24 Hours. Many people delay gratitude and decide they will only be grateful when they achieve the big dreams or goals. When you delay gratitude, you delay happiness. Success does not create happiness; happiness creates success. A daily practice of gratitude will accelerate your path to Holistic Success.
#6: Visualize Success
Visualization allows you to use the power of your mind to get what you want sooner, faster, quicker. Take each goal and create a mental movie of what it looks like to achieve that goal. Feel the emotions of having achieved your goal. Take into account any sounds that are important. Spend 5 minutes each day visualizing this movie. Project your images as if there is a movie screen playing your movie right in front of you.
#7: Take Action
You are now ready to take action. The path to a goal is never a straight line, when you run into obstacles focus on your goal, give gratitude and visualize success.
Mommy Mojo: S-T-R-E-T-C-H Goals – Why the Secret to Goal-Setting Success is Making Them Irresistible
There’s a ton of information out there on setting and achieving goals. Make them SMART, break them down into small doable steps, create a vision board, etc.
But here’s the thing about goals, if they are not utterly irresistible to me, I don’t care how SMART they are or how pretty my vision board is, I’m not going to do them.
So, how do we create and achieve these utterly irresistible goals?
It starts with my Irresistible Equation (Clarity + Confidence + Courage = Payoff):
Get deep, connected clarity on your goal. I was working with a client once who kept setting a goal to lose 15 pounds. And no matter what she did, she kept losing her way. She’d go off her diet, she’d “forget” to go to the gym, and she’d fall into a downward spiral that felt terrible.
After doing some clarity work, we discovered something very interesting. Losing 15 pounds wasn’t HER goal. It was her mother’s goal for her. “You really need to lose about 15 pounds.” No wonder she kept sabotaging her efforts!
So, we re-framed the goal as something that deeply, clearly resonated with her: Have more energy to play with my kids and feel great in my clothes. Guess what? Suddenly going to gym and sticking with her eating plan became irresistible to her because the payoff was so delicious to her.
Goal setting tip #1 – Get deeply clear on exactly what your goal is.
Once that crystal-clear clarity is in place, feeling confident about choices and decisions becomes so much easier.
Using the example above, my client was often faced with options that would move her away from her goal (in the form of awesome options)! Go shopping with friends instead of going to the gym. Eat just one piece of that delicious birthday cake instead of sticking with her eating plan.
By checking in with her goal (usually just one look at her children would do the trick), she was able to confidently say “No” to the distraction and “Yes” to the thing that would lead her to her ultimate destination.
The storms will come. That’s just part of the journey. And those are the times we have to dig down deep and hold the tiller steady until we reach calmer waters.
My client reached a plateau she couldn’t seem to get passed. And other people noticed. And commented. A side note on goal-setting an achievement: there will ALWAYS be people who are invested in seeing you fail. It sucks. But there it is.
And so she faced a choice. She could 1) Agree with the voice in her head and the voices of some people around her telling her she was failing or 2) Dig down deep, re-connect with her clarity, tap into that place where true courage lives and decide to prove them all wrong.
Choosing the first option was easy. And most people, whether they will admit it or not, go for option one when the going gets tough. They will frame it all kinds of ways to justify giving up. But in the end, that’s what it is – giving up.
Choosing option two is what separates champions from the also-rans. There’s just no other way to say it. It requires boldly stepping out, doing something really scary, and believing you can do something when the storm is blurring your vision.
My client chose option two, even though it meant flying in the face of relationships that meant a great deal to her. She kept at it. And she kept at it. And she kept at it. (That’s really all that courage is – dogged persistence.) Because she realized that it was about more than having energy and feeling great in her clothes. It was about belief in herself.
And guess what? She got where she wanted to go. Not in her original timeframe. Not with a huge crowd cheering her on. But she got there. And that changed everything.
So if you are having trouble reaching your goals, try making them Irresistible with Clarity, Confidence and Courage. Don’t hesitate on this (hesitation is also a hallmark of the Also-Ran’s.) It can make all the difference.
And, if you want more insights and strategies on applying the Irresistible Business Equation to where you are right now this minute, learn how to Create an Irresistible Presence!